आप शरमाते हैं या बुरा समझते हैं?

प्रिय दोस्तों मैं आप से एक प्रश्न पूछना चाहता हूँ---
मैं जनता हूँ इस प्रश्न को पढ़कर आप मुझे भला बुरा अवश्य बोलोगे लेकिन इस लेख को पढना अवश्य। तो यह रहा आप से पूछा जाने वाला प्रश्न---

आप में से कितने लोगो को "सेक्स" पसंद नहीं है?

जहाँ तक मेरा विचार है- ऐसा कोई भी व्यक्ति नहीं जिसे सेक्स पसंद न हो। सेक्स हर पुरुष और स्त्री को पसंद है, थोडा नहीं खूब। और सभी यह भी जानते हैं कि यह हमारी लाइफ का बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण हिस्सा है, तो फिर सेक्स पर डिस्कशन या चर्चा  करने में लोग इतना कतराते क्यों हैं?
सोचने वाली बात है न ? अगर कोई सेक्स पर  बातें करता है तो उसे गलत क्यों कहा जाता है? उसे नीचा दिखाने की कोशिश क्यों की जाती है? उसे भला-बुरा क्यों बोला जाता है?

मैं बताता हूँ आपको इसका कारण--

हमारा देश एक रूडिवादी, अन्धविश्वासी देश है, जहाँ सेक्स को एक घिनोना काम माना जाता है। इसीलिए सेक्स शिक्षा हमारे देश में कहीं भी किसी भी पाठ्यक्रम में शामिल नहीं है। मैं जब 10 वीं छात्र था तब साइंस के जीव विज्ञान नामक विषय के अंतर्गत एक अध्याय ऐसा था जिसमे Human Reproduction & Human Organs की कुछ प्रारंभिक जानकारी दी गयी थी तो, अध्यापक ने वह अध्याय ही छुडवा दिया था। इससे साफ जाहिर होता है कि आज भी सेक्स पर बात करने में लोग शरमाते हैं। जब अध्यापक तक शरमाते हैं, तो आम आदमी की क्या क्या बात की जाये?

अब यह तो स्पष्ट हो चुका है कि हम लोग सेक्स को बुरा नहीं मानते बल्कि सेक्स के  बारे में खुलेपन से बात करने में शरमाते हैं। लेकिन बुरा इसलिए बोलते हैं कि कही सामने वाला हमारी आलोचना न करने लग जाये और हमें गलत न ठहरा दे, क्योंकि हम खुद सेक्स पर डिस्कस करने वाले को उसी  नजर से देखते हैं, भले ही दिल से सुनना अच्छा लगता है। हम उसका साथ तो  हैं जो आलोचना कर रहा है, लेकिन उसका नहीं आपको सेक्स की जानकारी और   वाली समस्याओं से अवगत करा रहा है, क्योंकि हम एक भेड़ चाल के शिकार हैं। जिस राह पर सब जा रहे हैं  उसी रास्ते पर मैं जाऊंगा चाहे रास्ता सही है अथवा नहीं, इससे मुझे कुछ लेना देना नहीं भले ही मैं दलदल में जाकर क्यों न फस जाऊ।

यही वजह है - आज हम सेक्स समस्याओं के शिकार बहुत जल्दी होते हैं। सही जानकारी न होने की वजह से हमें जिसने जैसे बहका दिया और हम बहक गये, भले ही हमें कोई सेक्स समस्या नहीं है। एक MBBS या MD या BAMS यह कहता है कि स्वप्नदोष अथवा शीघ्रपतन जैसी  छोटी-छोटीबातें कोई बड़ी सेक्स समस्या नहीं हैं बल्कि आम समस्याएं , तो विश्वास नहीं होगा परन्तु जब कोई झोला छाप कुछ भी बोल देगा तो बहुत जल्दी विश्वास हो जायेगा। क्या सबूत है कि झोला छाप ने बोला वह सही है? एक डिग्री होल्डर डॉक्टर जो सारा ज्ञान अर्जित करके बैठा है वह गलत है लेकिन 5 वीं फेल झोला छाप सही है। ये अज्ञानता, रुदिवादिता या अन्धविश्वास नहीं तो क्या है?

अब बताईये हमे सेक्स नॉलेज की जरुरत है या नहीं? मैं सही हूँ या गलत? कमेंट्स जरुर करें....

Is masturbation healthy?

— Rakesh from Indore, MP 

Dear Rakesh,
Yes. Stroking the one-eyed snake, polishing your pearl, southern comfort… whatever you call it, masturbation is a healthy (and normal) sexual activity that people of any gender may enjoy. In fact, masturbation can be healthy in a number of different ways: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Masturbation can also be a healthy addition to solo, partnered, or group sexual encounters. Read on to find out why.

Masturbation is one way for you to enjoy your own body, and to give yourself sexual pleasure. It can also tune you in to your own sexual likes and dislikes. You then have the choice of sharing that information with a sexual partner(s) to enhance a sexual relationship. Mutual masturbation, when two people masturbate in front of each other, can also be arousing, and is a great alternative to intercourse without the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases or risk of pregnancy.

Believe it or not, quite a lot of research has been conducted on this subject. And the overall conclusion is that masturbation is universal across nearly all cultures, and that it can have a number of healthy outcomes, such as:
Relieving stress and releasing tension (including the obvious, sexual tension) Providing a sexual outlet for people who are not having sex with a partner (whether by choice or by circumstance)
Alleviating pre-menstrual symptoms in some women
Helping to induce sleep, or conversely, helping to start the day with an energized calm
Strengthening muscle tone in the genital region
Promoting a couples' level of sexual satisfaction in their relationship
Providing treatment for some types of sexual dysfunction
One study even found a correlation showing that ejaculating more often (whether through partnered sex or masturbation) led to a lower risk of prostate cancer in adult men.
In case you're curious, there is also a great deal of information about who masturbates. The short answer is people of all kinds. But to flesh it out a little more (excuse the pun):
Infants — while not necessarily erotic, many infants touch their genitals once they learn that the stimulation feels good.
Children — again, not necessarily erotic, but many children also find self-stimulation pleasurable.
Adolescents — perhaps the classic group associated with masturbation. Many males and females masturbate regularly in their pre-teens and teens.
Adults — married, partnered, or single, adults ages 18-59 are actually more likely to masturbate than adolescents. What's more, people with regular sexual partners are more likely to masturbate than singles. And then there are many people, from all age groups, who rarely or never masturbate.

While masturbation itself is normal and healthy, there are times when a person might have a negative relationship with solo sex. Certain cultures or religions place such a stigma on masturbation that some people feel guilt or shame after pleasuring themselves. On a different note, a few people feel the compulsion to masturbate so often that it begins to interfere with other life events and duties, such as working or going to school. For people who are concerned about masturbation, it may be helpful to discuss any quandaries with a counselor, health care provider, religious leader, or trusted friend.

To maximize your pleasure and safety, here are some tips to consider when getting a grip on yourself:
If you're using any objects to help get the job done (sex toys, cucumbers, what have you), throw a condom on first — especially if that object will be shared with someone else or enter more than one orifice (use a new condom for each "destination").
Plenty of lube = maximum comfort (and less chafing) — water-based lube is a universally good choice. Some men prefer using lotion on their penis, however women should avoid inserting lotion, oil, petroleum jelly, and anytying oil-based, into the vagina to avoid risk of vaginitis (irritation and/or infection in the vagina).
Masturbate when it's enjoyable to you. If you don't feel like it, don't worry about it. If you want to do it again, go ahead.
Try different techniques, positions, times of day, mood music, etc. to learn more about what feels best.
 
People sometimes wonder if a person can masturbate "too much." To this concern, the answer is: not likely. As long as you are still able to participate in your normal daily activities, you can feel free to masturbate none, one, or multiple times per day.

The difference between male and female sexual arousal

“Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics.”

Men tell me that almost anything can turn them on—a simple brush of their partner’s hand across their penis, a flirtatious look or seeing their partner in the nude. What they don’t always realize is that sexual arousal works differently for women.
Sex researchers Masters and Johnson were the first to outline the four stages of sexual response in human beings: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Although men and women go through the same four stages, their respective journeys can vary in time and physicality.

The Stages of Male Sexual Arousal
If you’re a man, you can’t understand the female cycle of sexual arousal unless you first understand your own. You may think orgasm is simply a matter of getting aroused and getting off, but believe me, there’s a lot more to it than that!

Excitement: The physical signs of male sexual arousal are easy to spot. Your testes begin to elevate, the skin around your scrotum becomes thicker, and your penis becomes increasingly erect. If you don’t proceed to Stage 2, your excitement will pass fairly quickly.

Plateau: At this point, your testes are fully engorged and reach their highest point of elevation, your penis’s corona becomes engorged with blood, and seminal fluid (which aids in lubrication) begins to secrete through the tip of your penis. At this stage, the desire for sex becomes very strong; if you aren’t able to move to Stage 3, things can become painful.

Orgasm: The fluids from different parts of your reproductive organs collect at the end of the urethra, creating a feeling of heaviness that men recognize as the signal of imminent orgasm, and then you experience the contractions you associate with climaxing. It’s possible to hold back from completing this stage so you can continue sexually stimulate your partner, but only for a short time.

Resolution: During this stage, the penis goes back to non-erect size and all the blood in the testes returns to the rest of the body.
Men also have what is known as a refractory period, which means that for a certain time he will not be able to achieve another erection. That period of time varies from as little as two minutes to as long as two weeks. On average, as a man ages, his refractory period grows longer.

The Stages of Female Sexual Arousal
Now that you understand how your own body works during sex, it will be easier for you to spot the differences in your partner’s cycle of sexual arousal. Keep in mind that although some women go through these four stages very quickly, most require more time than men before they can move to the next stage.

Excitement: Her nipples become erect, her vagina starts becoming lubricated, her clitoris begins to swell and grow larger, and the inner walls of her vagina begin to expand. Her breasts may even increase in size if she becomes highly aroused. As these are all physical cues, it’s important to pay attention to her body language, too. If she’s touching you or kissing you, she’s probably excited.

Plateau: Her heartbeat speeds up, her breasts may increase noticeably in size, her vagina swells, her vaginal opening begins to narrow, her clitoris becomes more erect, and the color of her labia darken in color. Only near the end of this stage will her body be ready for vaginal intercourse. Not all women experience this stage of arousal, which is why it’s important to give her plenty of foreplay.

Orgasm: Intense muscle contractions through the pelvic area will occur during the orgasm—a woman can have three to fifteen of these contractions depending on the strength of her climax. She may also experience muscle contractions in other parts of the body as well. Most women’s bodies become temporarily rigid at the highest point of their orgasm.

Resolution: If a woman has achieved orgasm, she may be able to have multiple orgasms during the resolution stage. Otherwise, her body will return to normal, but at a slower rate than if she had climaxed. During resolution, her breasts and nipples can become very sensitive, so don’t touch them aggressively.
Now that you understand the physical stages of sexual arousal in women, you’ll be able to identify them in your lover, which will enable you to give her the foreplay and stimulation she needs to experience an incredible orgasm.

How to talk to your partner about...

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure… it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Communication is the best sexual technique a man can have. Once you’ve learned how to talk with your partner and truly listen to what she says, you’re well on your way to enriching your sex life and helping her experience powerful orgasms during sex.
Some subjects, though, can be difficult to broach, especially when there’s the potential for embarrassment, confusion or hurt feelings, as is often the case when a couple tries to discuss the sexual aspects of their relationship. But you’ll find that if you approach these subjects tactfully and with sensitivity, you and your partner may learn a great deal about one another, even if you’ve been married for 25 years.

What She Likes
It can be terribly frustrating when you make love to your lady and she doesn’t experience an orgasm. You’re trying your best, but it still isn’t happening. You’ve asked her what she likes, but she’s to shy, embarrassed or nervous to tell you. What’s a man to do?
The key to getting your partner to open up about what she needs is discussing it in a comfortable, non-sexual environment. If you bring it up in bed, when you’re already engaged in love play, she might feel pressured or uncomfortable telling you what feels good. Instead, try talking to her over a romantic dinner you’ve cooked for her.
Approach the subject carefully, and start by telling her how much you love her and want to please her. Let the conversation unfold naturally—don’t demand she reveal her secret desires to you. Encourage her to tell you what she likes about making love to you, perhaps by first telling her what she does that you particularly enjoy.
Toward the end of the conversation, develop a signal she can give you during sex that tells you when you’re doing something that feels especially good. As you incorporate this signal into your lovemaking, she’ll begin to feel more comfortable telling you what she wants.

Masturbation
Up until fairly recently, masturbation was a taboo topic for discussion. Everyone knew men did it, and all women denied having ever tried it. Now that our sexual mores have relaxed, talking about natural sexual impulses has become more common, even subjects that were formerly taboo.
If you’d like to help your partner achieve orgasms during sex, it’s helpful to know what works for her when she’s masturbating. She might deny that she masturbates or feel too embarrassed to discuss it, but if you initiate an open, honest, diplomatic conversation on the subject, she may share some of her secrets with you.
If your partner enjoys reading erotica while she’s masturbating, ask if she’ll share a book with you that she particularly enjoys. Take turns reading to each other; when she’s relaxed and aroused, suggest she show you what she likes. If she says she’s too embarrassed, suggest she snuggle under a blanket while you read to her, and then slowly remove the blanket until you can see what pleases her best.

Anal Sex
For most men, anal sex is the ultimate fantasy, but not many women feel the same way. Although it’s possible to introduce new activities during your sex play, do not do this with anal sex! If you’d like to try it, you must first discuss it with your partner, or she’ll never forgive you.
Approach the subject casually while you’re enjoying some private, romantic time, such as watching a movie at home or enjoying a home-cooked dinner together. Explain that it’s something you’ve always wanted to try with her ask if she’d consider trying it once, just to see if she likes it. She might object vigorously at first, but be patient and give her time to absorb the information, possibly a couple of days. She might surprise you!

Good Communication Makes for Good Loving
The key to discussing these topics—or anything else you’d like to try in bed—is open, honest communication. If your lady feels as if you’re trying to strong-arm or manipulate her, your negotiations will go nowhere. She might even draw away from you. Avoid these pitfalls by expressing what is in your heart, and encourage her to do the same. If she feels that you really love, cherish and understand her, your relationship could explode with passion.